A reason, a season, a lifetime

Hello friends!

I must say that I'm feeling a bit reflective about the relationships I've created and managed somehow to maintain in my life lately. To be honest, I'm really feeling a bit melancholy about the relationships I haven't been able to maintain for one reason or another; hence, the title of this post, a reason, a season, a lifetime.

In order to be true to my intentions, I've decided that I want to be a bit more aggressive in 'putting things all out there' or as Ms. Cormier and Lady Nadine would state it, 'go all in'. That way, hopefully (aside to my writing teachers, I know I should never use hopefully :), I will come out of my reflections with something tangible to help me move forward, confident that the next time, I will be more successful at whatever it is I'm trying to accomplish.

I've been reflecting a lot on relationships that I wish I could have held on to but, they slipped through my fingers. When I first started out on this topic, I was referring to familial relationships that aren't as developed as I'd like and try as I might, I can't seem to become that person that this side of my family wants to be close to so, I guess I have to content myself with being that person who shares the same blood line and that's about it. My door will always be open but I know they will never knock; they are a force unto themselves and I must admit, I'm a bit envious of the bond they share for it is strong, strong, stronger than gale force winds beating against the sh0re in an attempt level everything in its' path.

Who wouldn't be envious of such a bond? Even those that think they have a bond of this nature would be hard pressed to top this unbreakable family of God-fearing, generous, loving individuals. Of course being on the outside, you never know what is really going on in any inner circle that you are not a part of but, something tells me, that what is going on is exactly what I've witnessed (even though it is from afar). What I think I've seen is, strength, loyalty, love, intelligence, generosity and resilience all wrapped up in one cohesive unit of a family. It's amazing to behold. Even more amazing is that this is what holds true even when no one is watching. I can only hope one day when I'm settled with my family, to pattern the strength of our bond after the example set by this family.

Now, onto the other relationships. I guess I started with the 'lifetime' relationship because even though I'm not in their inner circle, they are still family so, our relationship will last a lifetime, no matter what.

The relationships that have been harder for me to put behind me out of them all are definitely those that are categorized as 'a season'. With 'seasonal' relationships, you never know when that season will end. Letting people into my inner circle has never been something I did easily but when I do let people in, I tend to hold them tightly. Maybe too tightly. I can be the virtual burning flame of a relationship be it a friendly one or more intimate. In other words, I guess you could say that I love hard. The hard part is, you never know if this is a relationship you will have to let go of before you're ready. Until recently, letting go of a relationship before I was ready was a foreign concept to me. I was always of the mind that I was ultimately in control of who was in and who was out of my life. It never occurred to me that someone wouldn't want me in their life as much as I cared to be there. I'm being authentic when I tell you that truly never occurred to me.

I don't know if I was being naive, cocky, or some other adjective I can't name but, having the choice removed from my hands about who is in or out of my life was never something I spent any time contemplating. The only time I felt I didn't have that control was if someone died. That's it.

Now, I know that death comes in many forms. A seasonal relationship is one in which eventually, there will come the death of the relationship. The season has ended; it has died. You can't control the end of the season because it will come regardless of what you want, just as winter or summer comes to certain parts of the world.

I have to say, I still struggle with the seasonal relationship much more than I do with relationships that exist for a reason. Sometimes, a reason and a season can become mixed up but, I find, from my own personal experience, relationships that have existed for a reason reveal the reason pretty quickly. Whether the reason was to help me move forward or to help me get to my next destination, a relationship that had a reason behind it never seems to have a difficult end to it, from my experience. Do you think that is because I knew in some way that I was to benefit from this relationship? I do. I believe that to be true for anyone that has been a relationship for a reason; even if the reason was for you to be of assistance to someone else, there was still a reason. And, just because you were the obvious benefit to someone else does not mean that there was absolutely no benefit to you. Helping someone else and getting nothing physical back in return is often that beautiful reminder that God really does use us to do HIS work.

That's all I have for now, thanks for sharing this with me and don't take your relationships for granted. Cherish every moment you have with the ones you love and strive for stronger bonds with those you wish. I welcome comments because they help me work through my struggles as well. Thanks in advance. Don't forget to check out my Soul Purpose/Youngevity website with over 500 vitamins, minerals and nutritional supplements for the body from the inside out! http://youngevityonline.com/rhondae